A Year Without Mom

A year has past since I said the final goodbye to my mom. It was at 4:29AM. She had suffered so much and I knew it was time to let her go. As she lay silently, I whispered to her that it was okay for her to go. After 2 shallow breaths she was gone. That seems so long ago and yet seems like yesterday in so many ways.

I've had a year to reflect on all the good times and to wish for all the times that could have been. I remember how strange it felt not to celebrate Christmas with her. And I recalled all the Christmas's past when she would come to our house to celebrate with us. As I felt the pain of her absence I knew that I needed to remember all the good times and not let myself dwell on the sadness.

I moved through the next few months staying busy at my job and trying not to wish for all the times that would never be again. There were times the tears would stream down my cheeks as I drove the commute home....Tears of sadness that she was forever gone and there were so many things we failed to say... Tears of wishes for all the times we didn't have. Tears of regret for all the times when we were both too busy to call or see each other.

Mom and I were never close and I wanted that so very much. As the years past we grew further apart and I so wanted that closeness that was forever out of my reach. During Mom's final months we grew closer but I didn't realize until after she was gone that she kept so much to herself... I now realize that it was to protect me from the pain.

One day right before Mother's Day I was shopping and as I passed the cards I realized that I would never buy my mom a Mother's Day card again. The pain was deep as the reality became apparent to me.

Does the pain lessen? I don't know. There are times when I am alone and times when daily activities cause my thought to drift to my mom. I have learned to allow myself five minutes of tears then I move past the sadness. I am so very blessed with a wonderful family, one that I am proud of and that helps keep me strong.

This year has had some wonderful moments - ones I have shared with my family and ones where Tracie Lyn and I have had some fabulous adventures. These moments have made the year one of memories that I will always cherish and hold dear.

I realized as I made the art piece that I didn't know my mom's favorite color. I guessed it to be blue because she wore a lot of blue and always gravitated to blue in her home. But I never asked her so I don't know for sure. The picture is my mom in the middle with my sister, Jill, and me on either side. It is the only picture I have of the three of us. I cherish it!

To My Mom:

I miss you, Mom.
I miss the days we didn't have
And I cherish the days we did.
I will forever love you.
Your memory is forever living in my heart and mind.

Marylin

From Dream to Reality.......

Twenty years ago my husband and I built our dream home but as with most who build we found that we couldn't have all the wonderful things we had envisioned. We had a son in college, one in high school, and one in middle school. That meant that we needed to put some of the dreams on hold until a later time.

This past year that "later time" arrived. We decided that we would start working on our house and little by little incorporate some of our dreams. One big one for me was a newer, more modern kitchen. One for my husband was to finish our basement and to have a recreation room that our children could enjoy when they visit. Well, my husband began to work on fulfilling my dream first. He began the remodel on the kitchen just about a year ago. Then due to many problems encountered and his health the kitchen remodel took several months. It was finally finished late this past summer.

Due to Tracie Lyn and my teaching travels I haven't had an opportunity, until now, to post pictures of this absolutely beautiful room. It has far exceeded my dream. It has all the wonderful things I had envisioned and many more. I want to share these pictures and to say "Thank you" to my husband for enduring the many months of challenges in completing this project.

This is the view as you enter the kitchen from the living room. The lovely granite counter top is accented by the medium oak of the cabinets and the ceramic tile on the wall behind the kitchen sink. Looking out the window I can see our beautiful wooded area and meadow shown in my previous post on autumn. I gaze upon the Mighty Oak tree.



This is the view of the island with my precious Jim Shore rooster purchased from Willow Brook. (Our youngest son's store). As you can see we have the most fantastic view out the windows in the eating area. We watch deer, racoons, turkeys and other animals on a daily basis. It is so relaxing to sit and watch the birds flying freely back and forth.













Another view of the eating area.














A view from the eating area looking at the side of the island toward the sink.


This shows a better view of the pantry cabinets. Yes, they are ceiling to floor and run the full length of the kitchen. I love them!



Next week I will cook my first Thanksgiving dinner in this BEAUTIFUL room! I have two ovens so I can have Tom baking in one and pies in the other. I am very excited about this.

This is a wonderful dream come true! Somehow "Thank you" just doesn't seem enough to say but I don't know any other words except to say, "Thank you, my dear husband, for making my dream a reality!"

Now we need to work on YOUR DREAM - the REC ROOM!

Autumn Splendor

During my teaching travels the leaves on the trees in our backyard began to change. My dear husband took some lovely pictures for me so I would not miss seeing the splendor of the autumn colors. This is the view I see as I gaze out my kitchen window.



Here is our lovely patio in the autumn.














And who could forget the MIGHTY OAK?




I stand tall overlooking this wondrous meadow
Watching nature unfold her beauty,
As I see the animals enjoy the warmth of the sun
During these final days before Winter's snow covers the ground.

The colors around me create a landscape vibrant and alive
Where all Nature's splendor is captured in the morning sunlight.
As evening approaches the birds began to rest among my branches
Looking for warmth and comfort from the chilly night.

The dew gathers on my leaves and glistens in the moonlight
Like diamonds and pearls on soft gentle skin.
The wind stirs my leaves to fall upon the ground where..
They gather and cover the earth like a blanket.

As my branches sway in the breeze
I whisper softly "Sleep, my precious meadow,
For the pure white snow will soon cover you until
Spring when you will awake - vibrant and colorful
Once again."

Gently the last leave falls.

GLITZ and BLING...EVERYWHERE

Silver Bella was a fabulous event! There was lots of glitz and bling everywhere! Many of the attendees were dressed in darling outfits and boots. It was so much fun to see all the creativity!

Tracie Lyn and I got to see some of our friends, Kim Kwan, Maija Lepore, Pam Garrison, Cindy Gilstrap, and Kimmala.

Here are a couple of pics of my booth. I made Christmas ornaments and some Wheggie tree toppers.










Now it is time for a little rest from all the travel, What an exciting year it has been!

SPARKLE..SPARKLE...SILVER BELLA

Tomorrow I head to Omaha for a week of training and meetings, then on Friday evening I will be vending at the WONDERFUL event, "Silver Bella", hosted by Teresa McFaden. There will be much sparkle,sparkle, sparkle.

Between teaching engagements I have been busily making some surprises. Here's a peek:









You will need to come to Silver Bella to see the rest of the great surprises I have in store!